Why hello there, my short haired reader (and no we’re not telepathic, you could be long haired, short haired or no-haired for all we know, but now you’re here so might as well plough on eh? Maybe you’ll pluck a thing or two from our omniscient wisdom, which is OBVIOUSLY limitless and eternal, as you’ll see now when you’re wondering what the Hell you just read) whether it be entirely on purpose, in a search for a spot of hair-wisdom, or by the hand of fate itself (fate, donning a short an cunning do), you have come to us at just the right spot. As it just so happens, this very article has been written with the intention of dealing with the issue of sorting through the mountains of short, trendy hairstyles out there in order to find the ones which’ll make a man look ready, and willing to take on a variety of different situations in today’s technologically obsessed and fast-moving world. As an author at the very forefront and pinnacle of staying hip and “with the times” (-readers simultaneously die of laughter, author begins to quietly sob-), this article will be written o keep you as informed as we can possibly make you. Below, will be a list of the five trendiest (feels a little strange typing that word, this author is literally a hermit) haircuts, that we thought were the highlights of the short haircuts out there, for men like yourselves.
This cut was believed to have found its origin in the late 1980s, despite what its historic and somewhat extravagant name suggests (HAIL CAESAR) it did not in fact originate from the chaotic pits of Rome amidst the blood of gladiators and rare species of bear (a fact that should have the burliest of men crying tears of pure man-grief) Instead it was first borne by the likes of actor: George Clooney, and renowned rap-star: Eminem, throughout the nineties. As a result, this small and simple style gained much traction with the male masses and it has continued to do so, thanks in part to both its appealing aesthetic its ease of maintenance.
In order to achieve this little style, you should have your hair cut down so that either side of your do is equal to the other, while the whole thing doesn’t have that much length. You should also buy yourself some product, with which you can push a little through your hair in order to shape it correctly.
#2High and Tight
The High and Tight is one of many variants of the original Military-mandatory Buzz-cut, which was designed with practicality and swiftness in mind, due to the fact that its bearers would be required to undergo a variety of live and training exercises under extreme circumstances, with little warning. While the Buzz-cut has evolved into a variety of different “fabulous” dos (God I feel fabulous just typing that word, if you catch my meaning), this variation is much closer to its origins than the more common deviations, so much so that some units have adopted this as a standard style (badass, right?). This style is more popular with officers and law enforcement branches of the forces, and those that bear it have often been labelled jarheads (I pray you weren’t shocked that the term “jarhead” had nothing to do with mean wearing jars into combat…)
The High and Tight, as a standard military cut, doesn’t require any product or spray, instead only demanding that you have the sides and back cropped incredibly short and your hair kept as thin as humanly possible, though not quite as short as the Buzz-cut, where you scalp is always eerily shining up at you creepily.
Now as fun as it might be, for some of you out there, to picture yourself flying around your living room, wearing an actual mop head and pretending your Steve Tyler on a bad trip, the Mop Top is actually a term that refers to the haircut, coined by the Beatles in the early 1960s. Yes you heard me, those cheeky dos, sported by Paul, Ringo and the rest. The legendary, the one and only, the timeless: Mop Top. This style sits upon your head like a cat, curling up to nest and clean its nether regions (though if your haircut actually does attempt this at one point we recommend that you see a doctor and/or Ripley’s Believe it or Not to claim a prize). Most would concur that the Mop Top died in the late seventies; however recent 60s/70s nostalgia movements have seen its revival as a retrospective style, a style that you can gracefully bare.
In order to achieve the Mop Top hairstyle, you’ll need to have access to conditioner, hair mousse and a hairdryer.
Aw Hell, we’ve had one retrospective style-why not another? We could just throw a big ole retrospective haircut party and Ringo Starr can serve us all mints. The Pompadour is often considered to have found its roots in the old Georgian haircuts of the 18th century, during the reign of King Louis the 15th. The style itself is named after the Madame de Pompadour, whom was a prominent noble lady at the time, though the style is considered to be more of a manly affair in the present day. More recently, the hairstyle might evoke an image of (brace for it) Elvis Presley (scream, faint and all that crap), whom donned this during his early and late career as a signature incorporation into his look. The style is quite high rising, and uses a lot of product to do so.
The Pompadour has a major focus on having some sort of higher hair length towards the top of the head, putting those of you fewer strands on your fine head, at something of a disadvantage. It’s recommended that this length should be at about 5-6 inches in the least, however the back and sides of your head are free to be as long as they choose (seems odd that your hair might have a conscience and decision making capabilities, but hey-don’t shoot me. I’m just the person who writes this mess.)
And to top this glorious list off (leave for your own sanity), we have another variation on the traditional Military Buzz-but: the Butch Cut (You know, when typing a word lie Butch you really come to appreciate how absurdly close the U is to the I and how typing too quickly can lead to some highly amusing misspellings. Needless to say, we won’t be discussing the B*tch Cut today or at any point in the near future) this cut is also often known as the Brush cut or simply as the Burr.
The Butch/Burr/Brush/more slashes Cut, due to its slightly thicker layer of hair on the top of the scalp, requires a little more maintenance than the High and Tight, traditionally being groomed using any sort of control wax. Specific waxes include the Butch Wax, which many use specifically due to properties that seem tailored to just this sort of a cut. Any hair, below the upper portion of the sides of the head, is removed with a clipper, something which helps it retain its practicality when prescribed to men in the service. This haircut is both practical yet not too thin so as to provide you with at least a little layer, for your aesthetic enhancement.
Well that’s all we have time for today, folks. The five hairstyles we listed, though not all as trendy as we might have promised, just go to show how diverse a hair-spectrum we have in the modern day, what with retrospective revivals combine with a growing number of new hairstyles and even Military dos, adapted for civilian use. The list of styles to choose from, is long, illustrious and highly detailed , and, as always, we recommend that you spend more and more time looking into this ever-growing spectrum of different hairstyles and dos, in order to properly locate whatever you feel might be right to you, your day to day life and your overall general style, be it natural or otherwise. While we encourage you to keep looking, however, we also pray that our little (incomprehensible) list has helped point you in the right direction somewhat.